Understanding and Dealing with Narcissists: Their Tactics and What They Want from You

Introduction

Narcissists are often portrayed as individuals who only care about themselves, but their behavior can be much more complex than that. This article delves into the dynamics of narcissistic relationships, exploring what narcissists want from their spouse and the negative impact such relationships can have.

Narcissists are manipulative and self-centered individuals who often seek to control and dominate their partners. This is not a one-sided desire for admiration. Rather, they are motivated by a deeper need to validate their own existence and worth. By disarming their partner with kindness or by absorbing their qualities, narcissists believe they can bolster their own fragile sense of self.

What Narcissists Want

Domination and Control: Narcissists aim to control every aspect of their partner's life. They often seek to dominate in order to draw validation and attention from their spouse. They may want to be special in some way, mirroring the strengths and qualities of their partner. This can range from possessing a strong family and support system to having a stellar reputation. Ultimately, their goal is to control aspects that have value, in hopes to use those qualities in their own benefit.

They Want You to Carry Their Load: Despite their desire for admiration, narcissists actually seek your presence to carry their own emotional burden. They want you to be the dumpster for their unwanted emotions and responsibilities. You are expected to be compliant, handling everything they don't want to address. This creates an imbalance where your needs and well-being are often neglected while the narcissist remains in the center of attention.

Narcissists as Parasites

Narcissists are toxic individuals who take without giving. They absorb the qualities and strengths of their partners, expecting them to carry all the emotional, psychological, and even physical burdens of their lives. In return, they often inject their own negative emotions and insecurities, creating a highly toxic environment. They value over-functioning individuals who disregard their own needs and silently suffer, making the relationship lopsided and exploitative.

Manipulation and Dependency: Narcissists use emotional manipulation and dependency to maintain their dominance. You are expected to absorb their emotional misery and give them the silent treatment when you dare to seek attention or validation. They may respond with rage, shame, or by completely disowning you. This manipulation reinforces their control and isolates them from accountability.

Signs and Effect on You

Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and detrimental to your well-being. It is essential to recognize the warning signs:

Manipulative Behavior: Consistently trying to control and manipulate your emotions and actions. Overemphasized Self-Importance: Constantly needing attention and admiration while disregarding your needs. Emotional Detachment: Showing little concern for your well-being or happiness. Manipulative Tactics: Using guilt, shame, or silent treatment to manipulate you. Resentment and Resentful Behavior: Showing anger and resentment towards you for seeking your own needs.

Your mental and emotional health can be significantly impacted in such a relationship. It is crucial to set healthy boundaries and seek support from loved ones and mental health professionals.

Resources for Dealing with Narcissists

There are numerous resources available to help you navigate your relationship with a narcissist. Here are a few articles you might find helpful:

5 Ways to Torture a Narcissist 5 Signs God is Showing You the Narcissist 7 Words That Destroy a Narcissist 3 People Narcissists Cannot Tolerate 9 Tactics a Narcissist Uses to Break You 6 Things That Hurt a Narcissist Forever! 10 Behaviors That Give Supply to a Narcissist The Best Way to Put Narcissists in Their Place 5 Things a Narcissist Does When They're Alone Scary End of a Narcissists Life – 5 Disturbing Truths Avoid Making These 6 Mistakes Around the Narcissist

These resources offer valuable insights and strategies to help you cope and make necessary changes in your relationship.