The Psychological Impact of Withdrawing Attention on Covert Narcissists
Understanding the psychological impact of withdrawing attention from covert narcissists is crucial for anyone who is dealing with this type of personality. Covert narcissists, often described as manipulative and elusive, can experience profound emotional distress when their targets discard them. This article explores the specific psychological reactions that these individuals exhibit, as well as why they often engage in negative behaviors when their supply is cut off.
Introduction to Covert Narcissists
Covert narcissists are a particularly manipulative subset of the narcissistic spectrum. Unlike the more overt type, covert narcissists do not openly display their true feelings. Instead, they hide behind a facade of vulnerability and emotional pain, making them incredibly difficult to spot. These individuals thrive on maintaining control and often manipulate their relationships from a position of emotional complexity.
The Emotional Response to Breakup
When a covert narcissist encounters a situation where they are no longer the primary source of 'supply,' they often experience a range of emotions, such as depression and anxiety. Unlike the overt narcissist who might be more straightforward in their manipulation, the covert narcissist may mask these feelings behind an act of manipulation. For example, they might engage in hoovering or stalking behaviors as a way to regain control and ensure their target remains entangled.
The Core Vulnerability of Covert Narcissists
At the heart of covert narcissism lies a core vulnerability characterized by intense feelings of unworthiness and emotional disconnection from one's true self. This disconnection is often a result of past emotional pain and trauma. When their targets, who serve as a source of 'supply,' pull away, these individuals experience a severe sense of loss and a return to their vulnerable, internal pain. They may feel anxious if they do not have a new source of 'supply' lined up, as this absence represents a return to the state of emotional insecurity they strive to avoid.
Behavioral Responses to Withdrawal
Covert narcissists typically do not miss the person who has pulled away; rather, they will miss the emotional states and situations provided by their targets. These may include housing, money, security, and a sense of respect and validation. If they become depressed or anxious after a breakup, it is often because they lack a new supply to take the place of the former one or have had to drop their standards about the status or attractiveness of their next target.
The Impact of Emotional Discomfort
Covert narcissists have little tolerance for emotional discomfort, and when confronted with it, they may experience intense anger as an acting out. They can shift their target of manipulation to someone else, often without any discernible pattern. This lack of a differentiated emotional life leads to disorganized and unpredictable behavior.
Conclusion: Understanding and Dealing with Covert Narcissists
Covert narcissists are a challenge, but understanding their psychology can help in dealing with them effectively. Recognizing their emotional manipulation and the reasons behind their behavior can provide a clearer picture of their tactics. For those who are caught in their web, it is important to set boundaries and ensure that they are not being used emotionally. Professional help might also be necessary to navigate these complex relationships.
By understanding the psychological impact of withdrawing attention on covert narcissists, individuals can better protect themselves from emotional manipulation and maintain healthier interpersonal relationships.